Mourning or laughter?

"It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man. Sorrow is better than laughter, because a sad face is good for the heart. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure."

These are the words of King Solomon from the book of Ecclesiastes chapter 7, verses 2-4. I just got back from the funeral of our school district's Assistant Superintendent of Human Resources, Mr. Jamie Hosford. As was told over an over again, Jamie was a man of great humor & a love for life. What was even more powerful was his ability to honor and validate the lives of all those he came into contact with. Besides talking about his vice grip of a handshake and his great sense of humor, the testimonies repeatedly spoke of his giving spirit, even in the face of difficulties. He was described by our Superintendent, Dr. Michael Shibler, as a "Giver".

I went to the funeral. I wasn't a personal friend of Jamie's, but he did hire me. I, too, felt welcomed and accepted the first time I met him. I so looked forward to our district's first day back at school each Fall, when Jamie & Michael would be up on stage to set us up for a successful year. It was always a comedy act, but with lots of depth & preparation behind it. Jamie always gave so much of himself to our community. And in his giving never sought "payback". He just loved giving to others.

It reminded me of the book I'm currently reading, Give and Take, A revolutionary Approach to Success, by Adam Grant. Grant describes people as either givers, takers or matchers. In some of his initial research he found that actually givers and takers are both high achievers. That surprised, and actually disappointed me at first. As I read further, his research also discovered that givers are much more content, and can always count on support when they encounter rough times because of all the people they have helped.

As an Immersion educator, I want to be that giver. I want to give to my students the love for language, the ability to use it, and the vision for how and when they can use it. I want to give to the parents of my students the confidence that they made the right decision to enroll their child in an Immersion program; that their child can overcome struggles, and that I want to work as a team with them for the good of their child. I want to give ideas to my colleagues. I also need to learn that they often need more smiles & words of encouragement than they do ideas. I want to give them that, too. I want to give to my administration the loyalty that they deserve & that will instill trust in me as an educator. I want to give to the Immersion community at large in order to encourage them to step out & take risks, to embrace a diverse community around them. I want to give to our immigrant communities the validation that their language is valuable, and that to have a 2nd, 3rd or more languages is even more valuable.

Another study that Grant sites found that, "the presence of a single giver was enough to establish a norm of giving." I know that Jamie was a giver who established that norm in our district. I want to continue that legacy. How about your district? Educators in general tend to be givers, but if your district is struggling in this area, take the risk & start a norm---be a giver.

Learning to give,

Sheryl René